A - APOPLECTIC?: jd'kgfaah[ard;lfkgnaal!!!!!!!!
B - BLACKMAILED?: Not yet, but if you send me a self-addressed stamped envelope, I will send you a detailed list of all my peccadillos.
C - CLONES OR CYBORGS?: Cyborgs. Definitely. Hooray for hydraulics!
D - FAVORITE DOUBLE-ENTENDRE?: Girl walks into a bar and orders a double-entendre from the bartender...so HE GAVE IT TO HER!
E - EBONICS?: Fo shizzle my nizzle.
F - FECKLESS OR FACILE?: I do have a knack for insouciance.
G - GOD-FEARING OR INCREDULOUS?: Hot girls go for incredulity.
H - HABBERDASHER OR HAGGARD?: Well, I'm not a british dandy, so I'll go with the latter.
I - FAVORITE INNUENDO?: Do you want to come over to my place and feed my beaver some wood? (Although beavers do find the term pejorative. They prefer 'vagina squirrel'.)
J - JUNK IN THE TRUNK?: Baby has certainly got back.
K - KETCHUP OR CATSUP?: Ketchup. What? K is hard.
L - LAMBASTED?: Better men than you have tried and failed.
M - MANGINA OR SPAMPURSE?: I do love mangina.
N - NAMBY-PAMBY OR GORMLESS TOMFOOL?: Neither. Cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
O - ON THE WAGON?: On the wha? I don't understand your crazy moon-language.
P - PANTS-LESS OR PANTS-FREE?: I do my best.
Q - QUIRK?: I can't touch unglazed pottery.
R- RECIDIVISM?: No way, man! I can't go back there, man! THEY'LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST!
S - SCOFFLAW?: Arrested once. Stole a cooking pot.
T - TATTOO OF A STICK FIGURE HOLDING A MARTINI GLASS AND WIELDING A SWORD?: Yes please!
U - ULULATIONS?: Mostly cries of Jihad.
V - VAGARY?: My dossier does contain various shenanigans and/or monkeyshines.
W - WALKER, TEXAS RANGER?: Absolutely. Because we all know that Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
X - XERASIA?: My hair is lustrous and well moisturized, thank you.
Y - YEASTY OR CANDIDA-FREE?: I wipe front to back.
Z - ZEE FRENCH MOUSTACHE?: What I do with my downstairs is none of your business!
I'm sorry. I'm all messed up on cough syrup right now, so just like, nevermind.