1. i will often eschew capitalization because I'm lazy (technically two things about me).
2. i can’t stand unglazed pottery. i absolutely can not lay hands nor eyeballs on the stuff. it makes me want to claw my own skin off. Gggggeeeeeeerrrrrraaaaaaggggggrrrrrraaaaaahhhhh!
3. i am a safe, competent, defensive driver but as soon as i have to park or back up it’s like i’ve never driven a car in my entire life before.
4. i love to cook but i don’t do it as much as i would like and nothing i make ever tastes as good as i want it to.
5. i secretly wish i was a writer.
6. i would like to think of myself as a tough, kickassy chick who could smash a face, if need be, but in reality i bruise like a peach which is a constant source of embarrassment to me.
7. i hate it when people tell me all about the book they’re reading and then insist on lending it to me even when i don’t appear interested. i end up resenting the book the entire time it’s in my reluctant possession and i usually don’t read it. yet i love to tell people all about what i’m reading and then try to lend my book to them.
8. i’m really bad at life. i’m in debt, i don’t clean the house or do my laundry enough, i have no personal filing system, i haven’t done my taxes in three years, the list goes on and on and yet i’m uber capable and organized at work. i am slowly shifting my work focus to my home life and i’m optimistic that in around 7 years or so i expect to be good at life.
9. i almost always wear black and the color black dictates my consumerism habits in general but my favorite color is orange.
10. i strive to always be on time.
11. i want everyone to like me all the time and i use humor to accomplish this. sometimes it works and sometimes i just end up looking like an asshole.
12. i will often attempt to recycle comedy stylings well after their due date has expired.
13. i hate it when people/friends get weird with me for unexplained reasons or for reasons which, even when explained, make no goddamn sense.
14. my superhero power is validating others. i’m very validaty.
15. i often make up words that have no business in the english language.
16. i love little things. baby trees, barbie accessories, newborn’s shoes, etc. because they make me feel HUGE.
17. i made my own tarot deck. it’s weird and dark and quirky and funny and it has nothing at all to do with the actual tarot. ask me to give you a reading!
18. i positively adore quirky, witty, clever people who can be smart and ridiculous at the same time.
19. i like baseball and hockey and i enjoy watching competitive sports in a social environment but i hate participating in competitive sports. i hate the pressure of it. even poker raises my blood pressure to an uncomfortable level.
20. i was 32 before i developed a solid work ethic.
21. i own several weapons.
22. i brush my teeth in the shower.
23. i’ve had whiplash like, i don’t know, 17 times.
24. i like cereal but hate milk.
25. i am not nearly as confident as most people think i am and i pretty much need constant validation.
oh yeah, and i FUCKING LOVE MOUSE MOVIES!